Hello February.
Well I have not made enough headway into my pile of stuff I need to get done. Looks like it will be a long weekend.
I wanted to share with you a thought that my wife shared with me following her conference in sunny Florida. She went to a breakout that dealt with marriage and the speaker spoke about core fears. These core fears drive our arguments as couples and heavily impact us. Anyways - she told me that the guy mentioned that women's core fear often is being abandoned or rejected and that men's core fear most often is feeling helpless.
So anyways we chatted as a couple and I think my core fear is disappointing people. My whole life I was about gaining approval and praise from others in a people pleasing manner... oldest kid... oldest cousin... be a role model... the peace maker... the relational glue to friendships... you name it - I was the people pleaser that didn't want to have anyone dissappointed in me.
So now I'm 33 and still dealing with it. Crap. I think it is especially hard because my role as a pastor breeds this core fear in some ways (or at least provides an ideal environment for it to grow and be masked as something more spiritual.) So because I am on call 24/7 and the church has become a volunteer organization rather than an interdependent organic body - it drives leaders of churches to keep the sheep happy, fed and not looking for another pasture. Stupid. But - alas - I don't like to let people down.
So in this year I am going to pray that my core fear will wither. I plan on disappointing you. :)
That was just a taste of what she shared... but the conference was very impacting for her and I thank God that she went, because it refreshed her and encouraged her.
Tomorrow is staff evaluations...
Next week is fun in the sun... huh?
Seacrest out,
sd
ps - no one better write - "You disappoint me" in the comments. :)
Well I have not made enough headway into my pile of stuff I need to get done. Looks like it will be a long weekend.
I wanted to share with you a thought that my wife shared with me following her conference in sunny Florida. She went to a breakout that dealt with marriage and the speaker spoke about core fears. These core fears drive our arguments as couples and heavily impact us. Anyways - she told me that the guy mentioned that women's core fear often is being abandoned or rejected and that men's core fear most often is feeling helpless.
So anyways we chatted as a couple and I think my core fear is disappointing people. My whole life I was about gaining approval and praise from others in a people pleasing manner... oldest kid... oldest cousin... be a role model... the peace maker... the relational glue to friendships... you name it - I was the people pleaser that didn't want to have anyone dissappointed in me.
So now I'm 33 and still dealing with it. Crap. I think it is especially hard because my role as a pastor breeds this core fear in some ways (or at least provides an ideal environment for it to grow and be masked as something more spiritual.) So because I am on call 24/7 and the church has become a volunteer organization rather than an interdependent organic body - it drives leaders of churches to keep the sheep happy, fed and not looking for another pasture. Stupid. But - alas - I don't like to let people down.
So in this year I am going to pray that my core fear will wither. I plan on disappointing you. :)
That was just a taste of what she shared... but the conference was very impacting for her and I thank God that she went, because it refreshed her and encouraged her.
Tomorrow is staff evaluations...
Next week is fun in the sun... huh?
Seacrest out,
sd
ps - no one better write - "You disappoint me" in the comments. :)
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