Rehearsing isn't always helpful.

One thing that I've done for most of my life is think through various scenarios. I would have conversations with myself that I envisioned would take place with another person. I would get my facts straight, think through the issues, recall the why and the what, and just gear myself up for conversations that may take place.

The problem is... they rarely if ever took place.

But I felt more prepared anyway. It was a tool that I thought would bring peace when I was anxious and feeling defensive. However the reality is that it just created more anxiety and took up more time and head space. Rehearsing hasn't been helpful for me and I am trying to kill it.

I was driving the other day and feeling a bit anxious about how someone might respond to something and I launched into my rehearsal. This and that started coming out of mouth as I drove along and then I realized what I was doing. I just stopped the stream of justifications and said,"God, you love me and I'm your kid. Take this issue."

I think God does a better job as a defender than me. I just need to rest in the fact that He accepts and loves me regardless.

So, I may not seem as quick on the gun and I won't deliver a pristine rebuttal to a situation, but I'll sleep better.

Thinking out loud can by tiring,
sd

PS - isn't that what blogging is?