Ever felt alone in the holidays?

Thanks for those who gave good fiction book ideas... please continue to weigh in on your favorites.

I would also like to get your opinion and experience over this holiday season.
I've heard that the holidays are a very difficult and lonely time for many people.

In your opinion - or from experience - why is the Christmas season a lonely, empty, and difficult time for people?

I really value your input and perspective - it will help shape a discussion that I'm leading in a couple weeks.

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sd

Comments

Anonymous said…
I don't know how to fix it but, I know the reason. In a nutshell... everyone is streatched... physically, mentally, and financially so thin that anyone could snap at any moment.

Will we be able to give all that we wish this year? (will we go broke trying?)

How many get-togethers do we have to attend? (Can I skip this one and just sit home?)

How guilty should I feel for being safe and sound when so many are suffering or in harm's way? (I'm just one person. Stop ringing that bell in my face!)

Mabye it's that Christmas comes at the end of the year, and all the problems and concerns of the days gone by come knocking on the door wanting to know if we have a plan yet. And that's the time we really start thinking about those New Year's resolutions, and then the New Year comes and the vicious cycle begins anew.

As I write this, claiming to know why but not how to fix, it dawns on me that the real reason is that we are no longer kids waiting at the bottom/top of the stairs, or at the end of the hallway with fanciful visions of glorious presents and wonderful non-school filled days of fun.

When you're a kid Christmas is magical and fun. When you're an adult (especially one with kids) Christmas is ... well not so much.

Sad, but true. I still enjoy the holiday and really enjoy making the magic for my little dreamers, but... as with so many things in this world, it just will never be the same as when I was a kid.

Merry Christmas yall! :D
Dave Deur said…
Lonliness hits folks hard during the Christmas season. Here's a couple of potential reasons: Nostalgia - great memories of simpler times, family fun, enjoying siblings and extended family...good times with people who mean the most. Lonliness occurs when the people are taken out of the experience, and a longing for those Xmas' you enjoyed as a kid.

Additionally, people gravitate toward family at Xmas. Folks without family around during Christmas, then, feel empty and lonely. No friends, or distant family really fills the need and comfort of family during Christmas. Some folks will sit in a movie theater on Christmas Day, creating a distraction and trying to dull the pain of lonliness. You just don't want to sit home alone...but you don't want to go anywhere alone either. It's a strange dilemna.

I believe it's important for us to be sensitive to folks who have no close connection with their family on Xmas, and make an effort to invite them in. Even if the "temporary family" time is not the same as the real thing, it still lessens the pain of lonliness.

Dave Duer
Deur said…
Great thoughts from two wise men.

Anyone else?
Sara Maria said…
I visited you because you're Walbert's friend, thus: you must be cool! Peeeace out from the east side, near the lower part of the thumb~SM
Dan said…
Commercialism--we have goten away from the meaning, and become obsessed with the material aspects of the season. Did I buy for so and so?, will they like it?, will they think I am cheap?, did I forget someone? do I have enough money to to get something for everyone, if not who do I cut? So people withdraw and avoid it as much as possible. The cut throat attitudes at the malls.

Good will--maybe when there seems to be so much more kindness, some reflect and realize what a crum they have been all year so they feel worse. Possibly some just become skeptical of the people that are snakes all year, then suddenly transform into to this phoney nice person for 2 or 3 weeks.

We try to ask coworkers that we know are far away from their family and invite them to enjoy dinner and the day with us. One senior couple we met 6 or 7 years ago still come for our gatherings, unless they happen to go back east to see family.

Keep the focus on the good feelings and the meaning of the season, not the materialism and you will get thru it.

It is harder as we become adults and miss the nostalgia of the past. Now we have the pressure if you have kids to be the creator of the good times that they will fondly look back on.

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