Hi.
I am a sinner. (That means I'm broken on the deepest levels for you non-religous types.) :) I'm not perfect - but you know that.
Anyways - here is one of my sins but also one of my most difficult issues for me... I feel like everything depends on me. That somehow I am responsible for everything. That somehow I have power and I am expected to carry everything and keep everything together. Now - what is this sin? It is prideful to think everything depends on me.
It plays out in wierd ways...
As a kid I would panic when my younger cousins would fight and I would assume responsibility for them and fear getting in trouble for not being a better rolemodel or influencing the kids better...
I always felt responsible for my friends and their actions... be the role model...
As a pastor - I would accept other people's problems, their dissappointments, their frustrations all personally like it all hinges on me.
BUT - I have proof that it all depends on me (aka: I am a god) During the Detroit Pistons Finals series with the Spurs I often would shoot hoops in my front yard before the game. I started to hit a bunch of free throws and told myself that I hd to hit eight out of ten free throws for the Pistons to win. I did not do it for games one and two and the results were losses for the Pistons. I hit 8 of ten for games 3-4 in which the Pistons won. I didn't do it for the next Pistons loss, but did make 8 of 10 for their game six win. For game 7 we were in a hurry to leave out of town and I realized I needed to hit my free throws before leaving... so while the kids were getting loaded into the mini-van I was frantically trying to make 8 of 10... Finally after Vicki's third pleading with me to go and give up my stupid free throws I stopped at hitting only 7 of 10. I got in the car and said - "it doesn't depend on me... silly." That night the Pistons lost.
So - I guess I have a bit of OCD in me - always have had a bit... :) I guess I also have a bit of "god" complex. I envy the people who can just say their peace - not really give a rip about what people think (I mean really - not pretend)... Anyways - this post sucks. :)
I find myself being put in my place more and more and praying to have pride burned out.
But, it doesn't hurt to work on your free throws...
sd
I am a sinner. (That means I'm broken on the deepest levels for you non-religous types.) :) I'm not perfect - but you know that.
Anyways - here is one of my sins but also one of my most difficult issues for me... I feel like everything depends on me. That somehow I am responsible for everything. That somehow I have power and I am expected to carry everything and keep everything together. Now - what is this sin? It is prideful to think everything depends on me.
It plays out in wierd ways...
As a kid I would panic when my younger cousins would fight and I would assume responsibility for them and fear getting in trouble for not being a better rolemodel or influencing the kids better...
I always felt responsible for my friends and their actions... be the role model...
As a pastor - I would accept other people's problems, their dissappointments, their frustrations all personally like it all hinges on me.
BUT - I have proof that it all depends on me (aka: I am a god) During the Detroit Pistons Finals series with the Spurs I often would shoot hoops in my front yard before the game. I started to hit a bunch of free throws and told myself that I hd to hit eight out of ten free throws for the Pistons to win. I did not do it for games one and two and the results were losses for the Pistons. I hit 8 of ten for games 3-4 in which the Pistons won. I didn't do it for the next Pistons loss, but did make 8 of 10 for their game six win. For game 7 we were in a hurry to leave out of town and I realized I needed to hit my free throws before leaving... so while the kids were getting loaded into the mini-van I was frantically trying to make 8 of 10... Finally after Vicki's third pleading with me to go and give up my stupid free throws I stopped at hitting only 7 of 10. I got in the car and said - "it doesn't depend on me... silly." That night the Pistons lost.
So - I guess I have a bit of OCD in me - always have had a bit... :) I guess I also have a bit of "god" complex. I envy the people who can just say their peace - not really give a rip about what people think (I mean really - not pretend)... Anyways - this post sucks. :)
I find myself being put in my place more and more and praying to have pride burned out.
But, it doesn't hurt to work on your free throws...
sd
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